I don't really need it

Somewhere between India and Cyprus, I lost my flash-drive. I have a distinct memory of packing it into my checked-in luggage. The thought trail was something like "maybe I shouldn't put it here - if this pocket was opened it would be lost easily - nah, that pocket's not going to get opened"; you know, something like that. If it has ended up in Cyprus, it has found a nook or cranny somewhere that would win it a prize in hide-and-go-seek. That flashdrive holds all my backup to 2 years of pictures, presentations, music and documents.
I understood its value this week when my computer completely crashed and I lost everything. Thankfully, about half of my pictures have since been recovered due to the genius and kindness of a computer guru who's a friend of a friend's who spent 3 days with it (and wouldn't take a dime - the kindness of strangers, wow!) Everything else is khallas (my Arabic spelling for the word that means "finished").
So what was my reaction when I thought I'd completely lost 2 years of pictoral, musical, and written memory? - "Oh well, it happens." I'm not telling this story to let you know how laid back I am in annoying situations. What happened was that God drew a parallel for me in other places of my life; all of the times I've lost or been without things and catagorized them in the "doesn't really matter" pile. The problem has been that some of the things really did/do matter.
I'm finding it difficult with words to paint the picture that is so clear in my head, but if there's a point to this post, it's to encourage us all to ascribe value to the things that really matter. And if you've lost or damaged or been without those things, don't just say "oh well". I think we'd all be better off if we always put value in its rightful place - on the important things - and also took it off the things that aren't. I am in Turkey this month chillin' and childcaring, hoping to process the last few months and solidify what those important things are.

It's all relative

We arrived back in Cyprus Friday morning, and one of my first thoughts was "wow, this traffic is orderly!" But I was here recently enough the first time (5 months ago now) to know that I didn't always feel this way. And the parents of one of our students here helped to remind me by saying how much less organized the traffic is here than Costa Rica. But compared to India, the traffic is tickety-boo.
I have pictures of the Cyprus river valley from the first few weeks I was here, pictures taken to capture what I thought was a mass amount of garbage in a beautiful place. My thoughts yesterday as I walked the same valley? Man, it's clean here... sparkling, even, compared to India. You should see one picture I have of a residential area near the slums we worked in. I learned that the song "don't put your junk in my backyard, my backyard's full" can be literal.
In the last few weeks, I saw the faces of people I had only read about before I was in India. The 6 year old bride. The beggar whose employee amputates his limb so that people give him more money. The many children who have been sold by their parents to live on the street. The 8 year old shopkeeper. I have seen their faces and have had nothing to give them - no language, no communication, no clear concept of hope. But by grace for a few weeks I could walk alongside and help those that offer something real, something more. The need in India is more obvious than anything I've ever seen before in terms of sheer numbers. People there offering hope in any capacity are desperate for help. The harvest may be plentiful... the labourers are very few.
Today I'm back in Cyprus. I haven't blown black boogers out of my nose for over 24 hours; even though it's been 2 days since I've showered, I'm feeling pretty clean; it's been nice to give my sleeping bag a break (and a wash:)); the machine does a much better job getting dirt out of clothes than I do. But I did not suffer in India - I only stood close enough to observe those that do. There is much my mind and heart has left to process because of this experience. Anything I've written here is only the very tip of the iceberg. I don't mean to sound like it was hard - obviously from the examples of the other people in this posting, for me it was not. It's all relative... and from my perspective from what I've seen and experienced I have it pretty good. So enjoy your traffic and your available outdoor garbage cans today - I know I will!

Taking Inventory...

At the beginning of our 8 weeks away from Cyprus, we bought a first aid kit. And what a first-aid kit it was... sigh... beauty. So MUCH stuff in it. A crazy amount of stuff. The leaders thought I was whack... in their experiences of over 20 combined outreaches they've hardly used a band-aid. And I have to admit that I definitely stocked that kit above and beyond expectations. It's hard to take an EMT and buy a box of band-aids and think you're ready for emergencies, so I got a few extra things... and we've used just about everything! Seriously, it's been bit of a gong show... God has used the illnesses and injuries of our team and those we've been in contact with to challenge me so much. Between a ? dislocated hand, varieties of stomach problems (both vomit and diarrhea like you wouldn't believe), several whack skin ailments, and the world's largest spider bite (final dimensions were from abdomen to knee, and almost the entire circumference of the thigh,... the victim was bedridden for over 2 weeks), my mind has gotten a work out. I was thankful for the reminder from a good friend that God is wisdom and always accessible- especially with a very limited book supply and intermittent internet connection. It's also been great teaching basic community health care and disease to the students here - they are incredible attentive and fun to be with. Hopefully the bizarre ailments are done - the only thing left in our kit are gravol suppositories, malarial treatment, and IV's - any one that would make a good story if we would use them, but thankfully no volunteers yet:) Anyways, it's time for me to header to bed - lots to process are the lessons that come through the mind these days. Wow... that sentence structure sounds a little Yoda to me... really time for bed it is. Ha ha and goodnight.

One of those days...

I wanted to write about today tomorrow, after it was over. I thought it would make a better story then... you see, it's one of those days. And I'm sure there will be more of a story to tell tomorrow, but with intermittent internet and time constraints, I'm learning to write when I get the chance. (Actually, in the midst of writing this 2 days ago, I lost internet connection and couldn't post until now...)
So, at 7:25 this morning I went outside to get my pants hanging on the washing line. I had hand washed them and was anticipating wearing something clean. But I did not find them that way. In the night, the line broke, piling my clothes on the dirty ground. D-I-R-T-Y - just to be clear. But the icing on this cake was that some animal (I think a cat) which had some type of stomach problem, came and DUMPED runny crap all over my clothes. 2 pairs of pants, 1 pyjama top, and 2 pairs of underpants... The trash is not an option for 2 reasons: 1 - they can be salvaged (right now they are soaking in a strong soap mixture and I'm procrastinating from scrubbing them) and 2 - I don't have other clothes here. But this afternoon I understood the reason why. Talking with some of the girls here, the subject of value came up. What makes a person valuable? Can anything happen to them that makes them lose that value? And then I remembered my clothes. Crapped on and stinky and dirty from their horrible night... not their fault. Some may see them as no longer valuable because of the position they are in to get new clothes. But from my point of view, I can see that they just need to be washed and they will be good as new. They will lose the stains and the stink and the filth given to them. They have not lost their value; they just need to be cleaned. We spend a lifetime looking for people and places to tell us we're great just as we are - that our circumstances and choices haven't devalued us. So friends, if you are feeling crapped on and nasty today because of what has happened to you... it has not affected your worth. And there is One who can make you clean - that's a promise available to everyone.
P.S. today, 2 days later, I'm wearing the nastiest of the dump pants - 100% stain free:)

Random

Usually I like to write with some sort of theme... not so today. The thoughts in my head as I will try to sum up our time in Goa are random - snippets of ideas and information connected to eachother often only because they are from India.
1 - The little boy with the ankle wound came back, his infection far worse. We prescribed anti-biotics via telling his teacher to tell whoever would pick him up from school to tell his parents how to take them. They are illiterate so I spent time making a sun-up chart to say when he should take them... no good, his family is picture illiterate too (yes, it's a real thing). And when he returned Monday, (infection much better, thank God) his 7 day course was already finished. We spent copious amounts of water and time and rubbing to continue getting dirt out of the wound. The culprit in the end was an embedded peice of glass. I hope he will continue to heal. Even for our team who have the proper means for cleaning - humidity, sand, and filth slow the process considerably.
2 - Men's speedos aren't so bad - when compared to the local men's swimsuits here - straight up ginch... yeah, even tighty whities... I've seen it all (and presume you have too, right Sarah I.?)
3 - I am so thankful for my nation's passport that does not limit me from border crossings; my nation's health care that makes the unbelievable things I see here day to day obsolete; the sanitation system of my country that makes tap water safe to drink, puts pressure into a shower, and gets rid of waste; an education system that makes it impossible for the clerk at my local retail store to be 8 years old.
4 - Don't get me wrong - I am loving India... I haven't experienced enough of it yet to really understand the things here my own nation is missing that are still alive in this place. Every place I've been has taught me something important we have left behind in the West in pursuit of our big dreams. I know the lesson is here, I just haven't seen it yet.
5 - "Any job, anytime, anywhere" is what I think is written on the equipment at my place of employment... it could also be the motto for the bathroom here.
6 - When I first went to Africa over 9 years ago, I prayed that God would grant me not only compassion, but compassion with wisdom. You can't always give to everyone, and not all giving benefits even the recipient. I am still on this journey.
7 - I bought a pink shirt. Not all of you will understand how whack this is, but Meller I know you're smiling:)
OK... that's all. Thanks for sharing in the rabbit trails. Namastee.

Need a presciption... or something?

I've spent the last few morning in a clinic that services Banaii, a slum area of about 10 000 people. Though I was origonally assigned to visit HIV patients, I was swapped out after the discovery that I am a "nurse". Origonally, I protested this title and tried emphatically to explain the difference (several times). But how do I get introduced? - the "nurse". I am so underqualified for the expectations of this place, yet have the most education and experience in this field at this time. It has been amazing... the first patient had undiagnosed abdominal pain, and without an assessment I was asked to write him a prescription. I have since understood that it is totally expected that I write a prescription for just about every patient. I can put anything from pepto bismol (his) to morphine (I still can't imagine circumstances that would have me write this on a paper and sign it). It is so bizarre to have that authority and expectation. The next stories may not be for everyone, so if you don't like gross, you may want to stop... A little girl came yesterday, about 5 years old, her hands covered with pus sores and blisters and filled with dirt and filth. I'm not sure exactly what she has. I do know there were no gloves available as I took a needle and popped the pustuals, cleaning them as best I could with what was available. Then we bandaged up her hands and told her mother she must apply antibiotic cream and come back tomorrow to have the dressings changed as the infection is spreading. Today they didn't come. The 4 year old boy who came in today cut his inside ankle 5 days ago... today it is open, deep, and the outside tissue is beginning to die. We cleaned and flushed for half an hour but it was still dirty. I cut away the folds of his skin where it was still pushed inside the cut with dirty dull scissors we cleaned with alcohol - no freezing... He just watched and his only tears were when we attempted to pop the large bulge of pus under his skin with a needle. I hope he will return tomorrow so that we can use a scalpel to get rid of the rest. With the dead tissue still attatched, healing will be difficult. There isn't another place for him to go... I have so much to learn. So that's a peice of my day - would love to hear about yours:)

Sensing India

We have arrrived... India... I am wishing I could post pictures today as my words will fail to convey the small piece of this country I've seen. But pictures can't capture it either - they don't communicate sound or smell, taste or touch, which will be the makers of my memories here. But it is beautiful - showing you the view I will wake up to for the next three weeks alongside the beaches of Goa will make it hard to believe I'm a mercenary. It is glorious, the Arabian Sea which runs into the Indian Ocean is just 1.5 blocks from our guesthouse. And neither are there pictures of the beggars I met today, both hungry, unkempt, and persistant. The one man has no legs, and the other an old woman who was obviously not well - both for whom the few cents they get will never improve their quality of life. It has struck me again today, that for these two scenes God finds the second far more beautiful. And the noise! I guess 1.2 billion people in a nation far smaller than Canada is bound to be noisy everywhere, from the fireworks that exploded right outside our house as I went to bed to the rooster that woke me up this morning (at about 4am though it isn't light out til 7 - anyone have a memory like this:)) This doesn't account for the constant people sounds during the day, the hum of life going on as "normal". Smell... well, there's a lot of them here. I would say overall you may be glad that I can't post smells here - but there are some wonderful ones too - streets lined with spices:) Taste... the food so far has been wonderful (Nealeen, I was thinking about you today as I ate my curry, and you too, Deni, remembering how much you like it:)) But I will mention that the snacks are a little, um, weird. Touch will begin soon; I think I've been posted to assist either in a clinic of miscellaneous ages and ailments, or with work alongside people affected by HIV/AIDS. I expect perhaps that some of what I'll see in the next few weeks will far outdo my own capacity to offer love and hope. Offering "there theres" and "it's okays" for things I don't have to experience seem shallow at best. As people, we often hope and love when circumstance offer us reason... and I don't anticipate seeing a lot of reasons for these vices in these places. The mystery is that even here, they still exist to the eyes that can see. May God grant me these eyes that I can see, and at least words to explain this vision to those who can't yet see themselves - that hope and love (as well faith) are undying candles, no matter what. So I am going to header here now, to experience some of that "what", and as you move on to experience yours, I pray you will find and count your reasons for faith, hope, and love today... no matter what!