Today my name is Khawajia. In the past I have had other names - Ferenji, Yoo-Enn, Mizungu, and Gringa to name a few. They all mean the same - that I am a stranger in a strange land, an alien, a foreigner.
Today I am so interesting. You stop and stare at me like I am facinating, marveling at my skin and eyes and hair that each have their own colours. I don't know if the contrast of my body to everyone elses is beautiful or strange, but at times I am self-concious about it. Where I come from, to be pointed at and yelled at and laughed at is very rude, and though I know you aren't trying to be mean sometimes I'm still uncomfortable. But I try not to show it.
Today I spent time with you in the village, and I used every word of your language that I know. Sometimes my brain is so confused mixing up the words of every place I've been. It gets tired easily, but I really really want to communicate with you so I try. I am so thankful for your patience with me, it makes me want to know you even more. I don't come from a patient place, and I know that few of my kinsmen would offer you the grace that you have given to me.
Today we weighed your children and your mothers. This small bit of care we can provide is so little compared to what is available in other parts of the world, but it is something. Deep down, I don't know the best way I can help you - how to balance relief and developement with empowerment for you to grow on your own. This is not Khawaja land, it is yours, and so growing is up to you. I don't always know how to help you to do that but I pray often that our work here will help to make your people strong.
Today I know I am weak. I see your women walk with hundreds of pounds on their heads or pump water at the well. The muscles of your arms and legs are defined like ropes just under your skin, and your will to make your body work is much stronger than mine. It is life for you here. I have also heard the stories of what your mind, your heart, and your body have endured in your exile and I hope to never find out if I am as strong as you are. In my country, I am not weak, but in yours I am. That takes some getting used to.
Today I taught English to your men, and sat and watched them learn about community health care. Someday you will be leaders in your communities, and this study will help you to encourage your people long after I am gone. I want you to know how much potential you have, and I want you to keep trying even when it's boring or hard. But in this culture, I don't know how to do this. You are a man and so our relationship is very structured. But I pray that you will know how proud I am to walk with you for a little while and am sure that you will teach me far more than I teach you. You are taking on a big responsibility, and I know you are able. I pray that you will know this too and step out in confidence and competence.
Today I am torn. I love being here with you, and I love so many in my own country too. I know that if I were to stay here forever, or there forever, or somewhere else, that parts of my heart will remain here, and there, and wherever. Because of you, and others like you, I sometimes think I will be a sojourner forever and I can't quite believe that just one place in the world could ever feel like home.
Today I am thankful. I am glad and I am content to be in the midst of this season, for how many days it lasts. It is a perfect gift from the One who knows how to give perfect gifts. I hope that my time here will be well spent, and that I will bloom in this place I have been planted, for too soon I will have to change my name again. But for today, my name is Khawajia.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Monday, 17 May 2010
Inviting you to the South Sudan Spa
There’s a lot of hype in the West these days about healthy living. A girl here was looking at magazines from her home country (the UK) and read some articles that got us talking. Virtually everything you need for a healthy lifestyle is here in the South Sudan. Let me tell you why you should head here to Doro to have a fantastic spa experience (minus the pampering).
1. Apparently Lentils are a “new” powerfood. We eat them all the time here.
2. Drinking lots of water is good. We do that here. I’m between 4 & 5 litres these days, and am not over hydrated. See #3 to see why.
3. Hot yoga (exercise done in 40C+ weather and extreme humidity) is pretty fad these days in the West. It is a lifestyle here.
4. Reduce transport via motorized vehicles. Check.
5. Cut back on junk food. Let me tell you, that's easy to do when the closest good chocolate is a 5 hour plane ride away.
6. Get lots of rest. The other night I was sleeping so deeply that I did not hear the dog that came INTO my tent (the zipper is broken) and dragged my garbage (from the corner by my bed) onto the veranda and tore it apart.
7. Have excitement in your life. My scorpion count has tripled - now up to 3! (the second met its demise in the form of my shower bucket). Another escaped. There was also a large spider in the shower tukl last night, and the larger beetles are starting to emerge because rainy season is upon us. Also, a snake was killed right outside of my tent last night. The man who killed it said that a black snake is a bad snake. This one was black. Living with critters is exciting!
8. Oatmeal is apparently also a "new" must eat food - almost every morning here!
9. Eating organic is good, right? Here, everything is very very organic.
10. Mud packs and exfoliation for your skin are side effects of the dusty wind.
11. Vitamin D from the sun is plenty here!
So come on down to the South Sudan Spa! Especially if you are a doctor. Or anything really - we'll find a place for you!
* Idea not completely original - credit given to theagnesfamily.blogspot.com
1. Apparently Lentils are a “new” powerfood. We eat them all the time here.
2. Drinking lots of water is good. We do that here. I’m between 4 & 5 litres these days, and am not over hydrated. See #3 to see why.
3. Hot yoga (exercise done in 40C+ weather and extreme humidity) is pretty fad these days in the West. It is a lifestyle here.
4. Reduce transport via motorized vehicles. Check.
5. Cut back on junk food. Let me tell you, that's easy to do when the closest good chocolate is a 5 hour plane ride away.
6. Get lots of rest. The other night I was sleeping so deeply that I did not hear the dog that came INTO my tent (the zipper is broken) and dragged my garbage (from the corner by my bed) onto the veranda and tore it apart.
7. Have excitement in your life. My scorpion count has tripled - now up to 3! (the second met its demise in the form of my shower bucket). Another escaped. There was also a large spider in the shower tukl last night, and the larger beetles are starting to emerge because rainy season is upon us. Also, a snake was killed right outside of my tent last night. The man who killed it said that a black snake is a bad snake. This one was black. Living with critters is exciting!
8. Oatmeal is apparently also a "new" must eat food - almost every morning here!
9. Eating organic is good, right? Here, everything is very very organic.
10. Mud packs and exfoliation for your skin are side effects of the dusty wind.
11. Vitamin D from the sun is plenty here!
So come on down to the South Sudan Spa! Especially if you are a doctor. Or anything really - we'll find a place for you!
* Idea not completely original - credit given to theagnesfamily.blogspot.com
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Impressions
I am in the Sudan now, and will be posting about it soon. But for today, here is a list of observations from time in Nairobi.
My on-again off-again relationship with peanut butter is definitely on again.
Rice made with water that kind of tastes like algae also kind of tastes like algae.
My newly pedicured pretty toes stood out remarkably today as I passed a lady begging on the street. For a moment our feet were freeze-framed together... mine clean and polished; hers... gone. Her one foot was roughly amputated somewhere in the middle of the foot, and not where bones would end naturally. I can’t think of what kind of injury could have caused it. She is one of many people who sit on the street here, with parts of their bodies absent or disfigured, dependent on those who pass by.
There have been bloodthirsty mosquitoes keeping me up at night. As one I was chasing landed on the ceiling and I went to smack it, I noticed the remains of several other mosquitoes that met their end on that ceiling – it’s covered in several streaks of blood mixed with legs. I felt strangely comforted as I realized I was not the only one who had fought such a battle in this place.
It was recent enough (11.5 years ago) that I was in Nairobi the first time. I can remember how I felt the first time I passed through these streets yet I am not her now. It has been so interesting remembering who I was in this place and having her eyes a little bit, but feeling so different about things in the midst of it.
The Sudan news of the day is that I killed my first African scorpion today - in my TENT! Thanks Jodie for your prayer that I would see the wonder in all the critters and not fear - He is hearing you!
Hope you are each having a wonderful May :)
My on-again off-again relationship with peanut butter is definitely on again.
Rice made with water that kind of tastes like algae also kind of tastes like algae.
My newly pedicured pretty toes stood out remarkably today as I passed a lady begging on the street. For a moment our feet were freeze-framed together... mine clean and polished; hers... gone. Her one foot was roughly amputated somewhere in the middle of the foot, and not where bones would end naturally. I can’t think of what kind of injury could have caused it. She is one of many people who sit on the street here, with parts of their bodies absent or disfigured, dependent on those who pass by.
There have been bloodthirsty mosquitoes keeping me up at night. As one I was chasing landed on the ceiling and I went to smack it, I noticed the remains of several other mosquitoes that met their end on that ceiling – it’s covered in several streaks of blood mixed with legs. I felt strangely comforted as I realized I was not the only one who had fought such a battle in this place.
It was recent enough (11.5 years ago) that I was in Nairobi the first time. I can remember how I felt the first time I passed through these streets yet I am not her now. It has been so interesting remembering who I was in this place and having her eyes a little bit, but feeling so different about things in the midst of it.
The Sudan news of the day is that I killed my first African scorpion today - in my TENT! Thanks Jodie for your prayer that I would see the wonder in all the critters and not fear - He is hearing you!
Hope you are each having a wonderful May :)
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Buying in Bulk
Because of a general lack of food, intensified by flooding during harvest season last year, we must pack in a significant portion of our food supplies. So yesterday, I did a mother load shopping trip. Want to know what’s on the menu from now until mid-August? Keep reading...
5 – cans of tomatoes
5 – cans of peas
5 – cans of corn
5 – cans of tuna
2 – bags of brown rice
2 – bags of quinoa
2 – pkg. Spagetti
2 – pkg. Fusoli
1kg – Oatmeal
12 – individual pkgs. Oatmeal
1.36kg – milled flax
35 – Clif bars
2 – 1kg bags dried chick peas
1 – large pkg. Brown flour
1 – small pkg. White flour
2 – 400g pkg. Roasted peanuts
1 – 200g pkg. Roasted cashews
1 – 400g pkg. Roasted almonds
3 – 1kg jars peanut butter
2 – 250g pkg. Skim milk powder
1L – high heat milk
1 – 1.36kg dried cranberries
1 – 1kg bag dried blueberries
1 – 1kg dried mangoes
96 – fruit leathers
12 – fruit bars
2 – pkgs. Soy mince (yeah, it looks as great as it sounds...)
1 – 1kg pkg. Beef jerky
12 – individual pkgs. Beef jerky
6 – pkgs. Dried whole eggs
2 – small pkgs. Chocolate chips
1 – large jar of cinnamon, also small pkgs. Of cloves, ginger, allspice, nutmeg, italian spices, rosemary, and black pepper
15 – pkgs. Of spice mixes (thai curry, alfredos, vietnamese lemongrass, butter chicken, tomato herb)
7 – pkgs. Dried coconut milk
5 – pkgs. Soup base
1L – lemon juice
8... 7.5...7 – chocolate bars
1 – pkg. Cocoa cream cookies (from my friend in Egypt :))
5 – pkgs. Electrolyte enhancing jelly beans
Foods that are usually easy to find in the market include potatoes, carrots, garlic, onions, lentils, milk powder, white beans and seasonal fruits & vegetables. However, just last week, half of the market burned down, and we haven’t yet heard which half. So scratch half that list...
I'm thinking that the next few days, weeks, & months will have more to write about than a grocery list. I look forward to sharing with you what, by grace, I will learn in this place.
5 – cans of tomatoes
5 – cans of peas
5 – cans of corn
5 – cans of tuna
2 – bags of brown rice
2 – bags of quinoa
2 – pkg. Spagetti
2 – pkg. Fusoli
1kg – Oatmeal
12 – individual pkgs. Oatmeal
1.36kg – milled flax
35 – Clif bars
2 – 1kg bags dried chick peas
1 – large pkg. Brown flour
1 – small pkg. White flour
2 – 400g pkg. Roasted peanuts
1 – 200g pkg. Roasted cashews
1 – 400g pkg. Roasted almonds
3 – 1kg jars peanut butter
2 – 250g pkg. Skim milk powder
1L – high heat milk
1 – 1.36kg dried cranberries
1 – 1kg bag dried blueberries
1 – 1kg dried mangoes
96 – fruit leathers
12 – fruit bars
2 – pkgs. Soy mince (yeah, it looks as great as it sounds...)
1 – 1kg pkg. Beef jerky
12 – individual pkgs. Beef jerky
6 – pkgs. Dried whole eggs
2 – small pkgs. Chocolate chips
1 – large jar of cinnamon, also small pkgs. Of cloves, ginger, allspice, nutmeg, italian spices, rosemary, and black pepper
15 – pkgs. Of spice mixes (thai curry, alfredos, vietnamese lemongrass, butter chicken, tomato herb)
7 – pkgs. Dried coconut milk
5 – pkgs. Soup base
1L – lemon juice
8... 7.5...7 – chocolate bars
1 – pkg. Cocoa cream cookies (from my friend in Egypt :))
5 – pkgs. Electrolyte enhancing jelly beans
Foods that are usually easy to find in the market include potatoes, carrots, garlic, onions, lentils, milk powder, white beans and seasonal fruits & vegetables. However, just last week, half of the market burned down, and we haven’t yet heard which half. So scratch half that list...
I'm thinking that the next few days, weeks, & months will have more to write about than a grocery list. I look forward to sharing with you what, by grace, I will learn in this place.
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Egypt Blitz
I am in Nairobi, safe & sound... all the luggage has even arrived in tact (except for the luggage locks... somehow they lost their keys en route, but nothing that a hacksaw couldn’t take care of!).
The journey began by leaving in a snowstorm. I am so thankful for my uncle who agreed to drive to the airport even though the forecast was for 25 cms. Travel to Cairo was uneventful with good seatmates and all luggage arriving safely, and my friend was there to meet me.
Egypt was wonderful... if you ever want to travel to an interesting place bursting with hospitality, this is it. What follows is the blitz of those 3.5 days. Keep in mind that though I slept 13 hours my first night there; in total I only slept 19. My conclusion is that Egyptian people must have a special blessing on them for overcoming sleep deprivation.
In 3.5 days we:
* Saw my friend’s church and met many of her friends.
* Saw & explored the pyramids.
* Rode a camel.
* Met new friends from Egypt and the USA.
* Took a river boat ride on the Nile at sunset.
* Toured the Egyptian museum and saw the mummies.
* Ate a turkey dinner with my friend and her family – brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, and spouses – at 1:30 in the morning! They assured me this is normal in Egypt... (Really, Egyptians never sleep...).
* Took the train to Alexandria and ate falafel by the sea, watched the fishermen, toured the world’s largest library, and went to the museum.
* Crossed the street many, many times. Wow – it is an art. Being in the middle of a fast paced busy road with cars whizzing by on both sides is totally normal here.
* Got a pedicure. The esthetician was amazed at the state of my feet post half-marathons and post Alberta winter. My ugly feet and black toes are now transformed! (And it cost me about $4).
* Took the metro several times across town. Cairo is a HUGE city. The entire population of Canada and then some is in one place in Cairo and its surrounding area. Traffic is pretty amazing, though I don’t think it’s quite as nuts as Mumbai.
That’s about it for now... just arrived in Nairobi yesterday and slept 12 hours last night making up for Egypt :). Will head to Sudan on the 11th if things go as planned. Will get some supplies today and just kick & get rested. I hope that each of you are well & will update again when I can!
The journey began by leaving in a snowstorm. I am so thankful for my uncle who agreed to drive to the airport even though the forecast was for 25 cms. Travel to Cairo was uneventful with good seatmates and all luggage arriving safely, and my friend was there to meet me.
Egypt was wonderful... if you ever want to travel to an interesting place bursting with hospitality, this is it. What follows is the blitz of those 3.5 days. Keep in mind that though I slept 13 hours my first night there; in total I only slept 19. My conclusion is that Egyptian people must have a special blessing on them for overcoming sleep deprivation.
In 3.5 days we:
* Saw my friend’s church and met many of her friends.
* Saw & explored the pyramids.
* Rode a camel.
* Met new friends from Egypt and the USA.
* Took a river boat ride on the Nile at sunset.
* Toured the Egyptian museum and saw the mummies.
* Ate a turkey dinner with my friend and her family – brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, and spouses – at 1:30 in the morning! They assured me this is normal in Egypt... (Really, Egyptians never sleep...).
* Took the train to Alexandria and ate falafel by the sea, watched the fishermen, toured the world’s largest library, and went to the museum.
* Crossed the street many, many times. Wow – it is an art. Being in the middle of a fast paced busy road with cars whizzing by on both sides is totally normal here.
* Got a pedicure. The esthetician was amazed at the state of my feet post half-marathons and post Alberta winter. My ugly feet and black toes are now transformed! (And it cost me about $4).
* Took the metro several times across town. Cairo is a HUGE city. The entire population of Canada and then some is in one place in Cairo and its surrounding area. Traffic is pretty amazing, though I don’t think it’s quite as nuts as Mumbai.
That’s about it for now... just arrived in Nairobi yesterday and slept 12 hours last night making up for Egypt :). Will head to Sudan on the 11th if things go as planned. Will get some supplies today and just kick & get rested. I hope that each of you are well & will update again when I can!
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Elections - April 11-13
Today, tomorrow, and the next... a revolutionary concept is happening in the Sudan. They are having a presidential election. If you are a prayer, please pray for the country at this time. The next three days are bursting with potential for peace and hope or violence and evil. Millions of people will be affected, many of them having just returned to their country and regions from decades as refugees and IDP's. Please pray that the elected leader of Sudan will have respect for all life, every family, gender, tribe, race, and faith; that they will be a leader of integrity, of justice, and equity. Please pray that the election itself will be held with integrity - that every vote will count, and that everyone will have a chance to do so as an informed citizen and without bribery. For most of us, Sudan is far away and a place we don't think of often. Please make these next 3 days an exception as we stand in the gap for this nation. Thank you for your concern and your prayers.
Thursday, 18 February 2010
Deep down, I want to be Sam...
Adventure. What does that word do for you? Do you see a frontier and possibilities, a need for strength; an opportunity for achievement? Maybe it is cause for trepidation and caution... avoidance... fear. For by its very nature, Adventure is unpredictable - it is what it is because outcomes can't be calculated.
*Disclaimer: I really enjoyed the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Now, I am not a scholar on the books, so if what I'm about to write about isn't true to the characters (as deemed by a LTR superfan), then please forgive my ignorance. What follows is simply a casual observation and not in depth character analysis.
Bilbo was an adventure junkie. He was quirky in the first place, and branching out to new worlds and new things was a way he accepted himself and came to understand that his unique personality served a purpose outside the shire. He never stopped relishing past adventures or wishing for new ones. He never forgot that the world holds possibility and opportunity. The threat of loneliness and isolation that are a part of many adventurers did not compare to the delight of living a life like no one before him had done. Adventure met him and he never looked back. He embraced it even though it further separated him from the world and the people he grew up with.
Through circumstances out of his control, Frodo was called to adventure he did not want. He did not want to bear such a burden on his shoulders, yet understood that the consequences were grave if he did not. He sacrificially shouldered a weight that no one could fully appreciate, and was tormented by the task assigned to him in exchange for an epic experience. His life was meaningful and necessary to more than just himself, and its impact so great that it affected the well-being of generations to come all over the world. Upon return, he withdrew from his peers and found it difficult to interact in the merriment that was his culture. The gravity and depth of his journey left scars that never lifted. At a young age he left normal life permanently and joined a community of people that were not his own, but who could somewhat understand and appreciate the life and choices he had been forced to make. After Frodo saved the world, he was never again able to fit in the life he that was once his.
Adventure came to Sam too. His loyalty to his friend had him volunteer as support on his epic journey, helping him bear the weight of his burden. Certainly Frodo would never had made it without Sam. Though Sam walked as many steps, through as many lands, and faced similar hardships along the way, he was not consumed. He wasn't sure if choosing to join the adventure would keep him from all that he dared to dream back at the shire, but he knew and accepted that it might. Yet what he did know on any given day was that he was where he was supposed to be. When Sam returned to the shire, the adventure he was on gave him the appreciation and courage to live fully where he was at, taking nothing for granted. He lived fully in the shire, then fully in the Grey Havens when the next phase of his life came to pass. He had the rare gift of being able to live well in every place, and the adventure he was on in his early life fueled this.
Adventure, in some form, calls each of us. Some seek it; some avoid it; some fear it; some despise it; some believe it justifies their meaning. For some it is their kryptonite, and others their cocaine. How about you - is it your identity or your biggest fear, or are you somewhere in between? Are you happy with who adventure is making you? Do you ever stop to think that all roads unavoidably shape us, no matter what roads they are.
My life has had a lot of opportunity for adventure, of many kinds. I have been accused of being a junkie for it, but that's not how it feels on this side of my skin. It's hard for me to know what my life looks like from a "normal" vantage point (whatever that is). My opportunities are greater. My ties are less obvious. I've moved more than most people (conservatively, 23 times in less than 14 years). I've seen more than most people. I don't know who all of this is making me into, and I don't know that the adventurer always is the only one who decides. As mentioned before, adventure has risks and side effects... not returning the same is one of them. As I pull out onto another road, I'll keep you posted :)
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